What is His Secret Obsession? | Building Your Confidence in Dating Women
What is His Secret Obsession?
His Secret Obsession is a new relationship guide by best-selling author James Bauer. It helps women be in a committed, passionate and long term relationship with the man they love.
The main idea of the book is that women need to tap into their man’s hero instinct.
What the hero instinct boils down to is that men want to live meaningful lives and be respected for their efforts. The hero instinct is amplified when it comes to relationships — men want to be a hero to the women they love and care about.
The key thing to understand about the hero instinct is this:
A man will be drawn to any woman who makes him feel like her everyday hero and will be reluctant to commit when he doesn’t feel like one.
His Secret Obsession gives you the words, phrases, and text messages to trigger the hero instinct in your man.
After reading this book, I’ve started writing extensively about the hero instinct on my own website, Hack Spirit. I’m a massive fan of concept because it speaks the truth about what really drives men when it comes to relationships.
When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.
While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.
And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.
Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.
When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people - those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.
Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them!
Know What to Look for in a Woman
Sometimes, knowing what you’re looking for in a woman can be quite difficult. And if you’re one of them, don’t get discouraged. It truly isn’t as difficult as you may think to find the right woman for you.
The very first thing you must do is resign to be very open-minded. You need to cast aside all the standards that you may have been using and start from scratch. Forget what all your buddies say is attractive. Never mind what you see in the lingerie commercials on television. You’ll want to start with the very basics of what makes two people compatible, not two lovers, but two people in general, in order to find what kind of person works for you.
In order to find out what you are really looking for in a woman, you need to take the time to consider the complete person, not just the body. You need to take into consideration things like personality, interests, ambition and then looks. You’re probably wondering why I listed those traits in the order I did.
If you consider looks first it will tend to cloud your judgment on all the other traits. Men tend to be very easily visually stimulated. For this reason, what excites them at first sight tends to be what they think they want.
However, if you consider what you want in the other areas, the looks may not be so important. You may find that a woman with a great personality that likes football and racing as much as you do and who takes her career as a human resources director seriously, but who happens to be a brunette with only an average build, would suit you just fine. Personality, intelligence, ambition, sense of humor and interests play a much bigger role in attraction than just physical appearance.
What to Talk About on a Date
I’m sure you want your date to have fun and you want to have fun, too! You want to ensure that the conversation is interesting and stimulating to both of you.
Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.
Your verbal dating conversation skills will largely be judged on how able you are to create a conversation that your partner enjoys. Ultimately, that leads to you getting more dates. If you’re thinking this is obvious, yes it is! The question is HOW to create an interesting conversation.
Your dating conversation will be made up of you both asking and answering questions. If you ask the right questions, your partner is going to have fun. If you ask the wrong questions, they are going to ditch you. If you are evasive or less than honest when answering her questions, she is going to ditch you quicker.
Questions are powerful. Funny thing is that when a person is asked a direct question they somehow feel obligated to answer it. Here are some conversation starter question ideas for your first date:
“What do you love to do in your spare time?”
“What do you particularly enjoy about that?”
“If you could go on a fantasy holiday, anywhere in the world, where would it be and what would you do?”
By asking these questions you will cause your date to recall pleasant past experiences and share them with you.
How to be Romantic
What is it exactly that makes a woman see a man as romantic? Most of the time it's the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven't they almost become a cliché. That's not to say women don't like flowers because they do, but if that's all you've got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments.
The key factor in creating romantic moments is to put the lady’s likes ahead of your own.
Creating romantic moments is so easy it’s a wonder every man in the world doesn’t “get” this. All you have to do is think of an activity built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on.
It's all about doing something she likes with her. What will make such activities seem even more romantic to her is if you choose to do something she likes to do with her when a ball game is on TV that you could be watching with your buddies. She will feel chosen…and that, sir, is VERY romantic indeed.
It doesn’t matter which activity to choose to participate in with the woman that you want to think of you as romantic. The trick is for you to be totally involved mentally in the activity and not staring off into space or obviously just wishing it were over so you could go do what you really want to do. Remember this is you trying to be romantic so concentrate on the project at hand.
It really is so very easy to create romantic moments. With only a little thinking and planning, romantic moments can happen every day and at the most unexpected moments. Being romantic is a win/win situation. There is no reason not to make romantic moments happen at every opportunity.
Some Hints About This Book
In our days, in this big world, there are a lot of single people who spend their life alone. There are a lot of wonderful ladies out there just waiting to meet the man of their dreams, hoping that someday this will appear. Also, many single men would like to meet their special one, but the only problem is that they don't know very well where to find the woman they want. Learn to meet new people. In this fast paced world, too many people out there are lonely. Change your attitude and get out there and make
new friends.So, if you want to meet someone new, you should start by spending your time in the places most visited by women, the best places to meet them.
1. Through friends and family. Surely you have a
lot of friends. If you are single, you should
spend much time with the boys, go with them at
parties. This is a good opportunity to meet
special girls which they probably know and help
you to get the one you like. It is one of the
most easy way to meet someone because your
friends presents you the girl and all you have to
do is to get know her better.
2. At work. Maybe you are a very busy man working
till late and don't have time to go out to
looking for a partner. In this case, the best
partner for you is somebody who is as busy as you
are and understands the reason why you don't have
too much time for her. If you are surrounded by
many women at your work, watch out because there
can be the perfect woman for you.
3. The mall. We all know that women love to go
shopping. That's why mall is always full of women
especially at the clothing area. From the big
number of girls meet here you can choose the one
you want and start a conversation with her by
offering your service to help her carry her bags.
It's just a beginning, you'll see if you have a
change to get a date with her.
4. At the gym. Why to keep making sport at home,
alone , when you can go to the gym, a place with
many beautiful women, with a perfect body. It's a
good opportunity to show that you are in a very
good shape too and attract the athletic and
beautiful woman you ever dreamed of.
5. Museums and art galleries. Here you can find
women that are better educated. You must act with
some elegance and refinement here. If you don't
know anything about the artists or pieces, act
with confidence and try to find out something
about the exhibit.
6. Public places: theater, cinema, disco, parks.
We all know that a woman who is single doesn't
like to spend her time alone in the house. She
likes to go out with their friends hoping to find
a partner. So, go to a disco, have fun and there
you have all the chances to find your special one.
7. Group dance lessons. There are a lot of women
who like to dance. You should follow some dance
lessons not only because in this place are a lot
of beautiful women, but it is important to know
to dance. Also it is a good chance to
approaching women, some of the dances being very
sensual and exciting.
8. Jewelry stores. I think that is no woman who
doesn’t like jewelries. Women are very
preoccupied on how they look that's why they like
to change their jewelries very often.
9. College. It's a place with an abundance of
women everywhere you look. It's the perfect place
to meet a young and smart girl like the one from
your dreams. The advantage is that you can choose
from a big number of girls.
10. Internet personals. If you don't like to go
out with your friends and prefer to spend your
time alone in the house in front of your computer,
you may find a partner online. It is a very easy
way to meet someone and make new friends. After
you get to know better a girl online you may ask
her for a date. It will be more easily for you to
win her at your date now that you already knowhow she's thinking and what she likes.
But this is a very broad spectrum, so let’s look at who exactly will make good use of this eBook:
- Women who want to gain the interest of a man they like
- Women who want to take a friendship to the next level
- Women who want to move from dating their man to being in a committed relationship
- Women whose partner seems uninterested or distant emotionally
- Women who don’t want to accept just a mediocre relationship, but who want the best
- Women who want their man’s attention, love, and respect.
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